I opened my eyes while I was kissing you once, more than once...

Well, homies, I'm back for a sec. Don't get too excited, I thought I'd given this up for good (and by this, I mean this self-indulgent blog, not blogging altogether), but as I'm feeling rather self-indulgent right now, we seem to be a perfect match! I'd feel guiltier about not having updated in months, but one of my favorite blogs, the West Village Kid hasn't been updated in even longer, I can pretend I'm the lesser of two evils. (And when I say evil, I of course am referring to the very evil and inappropriate thoughts I have about that blog's author. Come back to the internet! I want to fuck you!)

Anyway, back on topic... I'm in Europe. Isn't that odd? I always knew I'd be studying abroad, it's just weird to actually be living in a city where no one speaks my language and there's nary a Chipotle to be found. (I lie, of course, plenty of people speak English. I'm just in a mood because I really want Chipotle.)

My sex life (of course the main topic of this blog) has actually been pretty decent. After a very dry summer, I've been here a month and hooked up with three people, two of whom I had in my sights beforehand. I am having issues, though. The one guy I really, really want to have lots of sex and babies with is either really taking his time with me or keeping me permanently in the friend zone, which... well, sucks. And the other big potential guy (as in a guy with big potential and a large potential guy, he's at least 6'2") might very well be interested in me, but... he's my suitemate. Which doesn't entirely rule him out eventually, once we get towards the end of the semester, but for now means I'm definitely not pursuing anything.

So... yeah. That's where things stand here in the Old World. I'm also a little confused as to where things stand with one of the guys I hooked up with (who happens to be the very serious ex-boyfriend of the guy I'm in love with, AWKWARD), but that's a whole 'nother story.

Getting all that out of the way, the REAL reason I wanted to update is even less consequential: internet romance! Yay! Well, not internet romance, per se... internet friendship that eventually developed into a real-life hookup, ish. I'm sure at least half the people who bother to read this (read: maybe two of the four) know me from a certain infamous website/message board. That's where I met these two people in particular, both of whom I met and hooked up with this summer. One was a seventeen year-old (I know, bad Sam!) in New York for a summer program, but originally from (and currently living in) Alabama. That one, to be honest, was more filling a need (NO PUN INTENDED), not so much someone I was actually that interested in.

But the other one got interesting. A college kid in Boston, I actually kind of really like him, despite having only met once. Like, really like. Which is a little weird for me, because usually I don't like people that much, or many people that often, at least. Actually, it's not even that I like him that much, it's more that he's the kind of person I could see myself dating for longer than the requisite one weekend. We talk fairly often, and while of course we're not getting relationshippy or anything, there's sort of a mutual understanding that it's likely we'll see each other again when I get back to the States.

Where it gets complicated is the two coming together. Naturally, the gay boys of a certain age on this website all know or know of each other, and that's true of these two. Boston boy and I have even talked a lot about Southern kid, and he knows I hooked up with him. (I even told him funny hook-up-related stories I'm not even telling y'all.) And I have no objection to them talking or anything like that. It's just... I don't like people being dishonest.

Southern boy and I were talking and he not-so-subtly dropped in that Boston boy had imed him looking for naked pictures, which he did in fact supply. The naked picture topic is one with which I'm quite familiar these days (I even have a couple of myself that I'm REALLY proud of), and I've given and received them of both of these characters, in fact. But I'd never gotten the impression that Boston would ever bother to ask Southern for some, much less send some of his own. (To be honest, I only asked for them myself out of semi-morbid curiosity.)

Semi-nonchalantly, I asked Boston about it, and he played it off, which is to say denied it. I pretended to be interested in a specific aspect of the pictures (namely, the shavedness, which was different from when I'd last seen Boston's junk, and asked to see one. And, in fact, it did (and still does) look like it could be Boston. Aside from the hair, I compared it with another legit naked picture of him I have, and the curve of the lower stomach and even the cock veins seem comparable. The background reminds me of Boston's apartment, too, from the yellowy light to the overstuffed DVD case.

I pressed the subject a little with B, wanting to hear the backstory (if there is one), but he again denied everything. It just smelled a little fishy to me. (Again, no pun intended.) I would bet money that this is a picture of Boston. An outdated one, because it's from the old apartment, but still. And it makes me a little angry. I mean, not even angry that he'd be exchanging naked pictures with the Southern guy. I did MUCH more than that with S, and I've hooked up with other people since then, so I'd have no room to talk. I might (unfairly, of course) be a liiiittle annoyed if he actually hooked up with S, but he's in Alabama, so that's not even a possibility, so it's not even that I'm the slightest bit threatened by competition.

What I AM threatened by is lying. If B had admitted to soliciting nudie pics, we could have had a laugh about it and that's it. The fact that he'd (ALLEGEDLY) do it behind my back means I have to have this gross little seed planted at the back of my mind. As honest and unguarded as I've been with him and he'd lie to me about something this consequential? What else does that mean he'd lie about? I've come clean about all my anti-relationship tendencies and my generally whorish ways and he can't come clean about sending a naked picture to someone I clearly consider if not desirable, at the very least fuckable? It just bugs me.

And the worst part is, I can't come out and SAY that, because it might actually not even be him (Southern boy has a LONG history of lies and misinformation), and then I'd look like the asshole who doesn't trust him. Not to mention that it seems like I'm getting more and more relationshippy when really the thing is that I hate even the idea that I'm being lied to.

Ugh. So that's it, bitches. I'm in a foreign country where beer is cheaper than water and I've had a decent amount of romantic success, and I'm wasting time worrying about naked pictures and boys I've met once. What IS my problem? Oh well.

I wouldn't be surprised if you see me again before the semester's out. I have a feeling I'll be getting even more self-indulgent as time goes on, so a long blog post about me might be just what the doctor ordered. After that... well, my friend and I have this great idea to start a joint blog (piggybacking off a friend's idea, and totally designed to bait Gawkerites), so I might not actually be back here often if ever, but we'll see!

Ciao, bitches!